


Lost Without You

by TrashMouthSugden



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fire, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7071067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashMouthSugden/pseuds/TrashMouthSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert's worst nightmare becomes a reality when he thinks he's going to lose Aaron the same way he lost his mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Without You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually do prompts as I don't have time for it but I made an exception as this one really touched me so I had to give it a go since it involved my fave family.  
> And I SWEAR I wrote this BEFORE Robert mentioned Taylor Swift a couple of days ago LOL.
> 
> I wasn't sure what to rate this as so I picked Teen and Up just to be on the safe side.
> 
> Tumblr prompt: Aaron is at the barn and a fire starts and everyone is crowding around and Robert finds out that Aaron is in there and he is scared that he will lose his boyfriend the same way he lost his mother so he goes in to save Aaron.

It's another hot Summer’s day. The sun has been shining all day from a clear blue sky. Robert is driving in his silver Porsche along the quiet country roads with nothing but green fields as far as the eye can see and a light breeze blowing in through the open windows. Victoria is sitting in the passenger seat, singing along to one of the latest hits as they make their way back to Emmerdale.

Victoria had talked him into taking her into town. She had looked at him with those big brown puppy dog eyes of hers, pleading with him to take her, knowing he could never say no to her. So him and Victoria had spent most of the day in Hotten, laughing and talking, strolling up and down the busy streets, doing a bit of shopping while having a bit of sibling bonding time. Victoria had needed some kitchen equipment and a new dress for this event Adam is taking her to and apparently she had nothing to wear. Halfway through the day Robert had taken his sister for lunch at this sushi restaurant they both love. It had been a good day and it had been nice spending time with his sister. He’d even managed to do a bit of shopping himself. Buying a few bits and bobs for his and Aaron’s holiday to Spain next month. Including a nice pair of snugly fitted blue speedos that he was sure Aaron was going to love seeing on Robert. Thoughts of Aaron immediately makes Robert smile. He can’t wait to surprise Aaron with the new ipod he got him to replace the one Aaron had broken a couple of weeks back while working at the scrapyard.

“Will you stop changing the station every 5 minutes and just pick one.” Robert groans  
exasperatedly as Victoria for the umpteenth time fiddles with the radio in his car.

“What’s up your arse? Besides Aaron of course.” Victoria giggles and glances sideways at her brother.

“Funny. My sister thinks she’s a comedian.” Robert says sarcastically. “Word of advice sis, don’t give up your day job just yet.”

“Don’t worry I wasn’t planning on it.” Victoria muses as she changes the station yet again. “Oooh I like this one.”

“Eurgh...not another one of those cheesy pop songs.“ Robert exclaims followed by a chuckle as he sees Victoria doing funny dance moves in her seat.

“Excuse me. I’ll have you know that I know all about your little secret stash of Taylor Swift cds.” Victoria smirks knowingly, her eyes shining with mirth as she looks at her big brother.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Robert scoffs, feigning innocence.

Victoria laughs and folds her arms across her chest. “Of course you don’t. Is that why you used to hide them under your bed when you lived at my place? I did most of the cleaning remember and that included vacuuming under your bed mister.”

“Okay so maybe I like Taylor Swift. But you can’t tell Aaron. He’s going to take the piss out of me forever if he finds out.” Robert replies, taking his eyes off the road for a split second to look at Victoria with pleading eyes. “Promise me you won’t tell him.”

“N’awww it’s so cute how you don’t want Aaron to see your girly side.” Victoria grins and teasingly pinches Robert’s cheek.

“Vic get off! I’m driving!” 

“Don’t worry big brother. I promise to keep your secret. Cross my heart. Wouldn’t want to cause any domestic disputes between you grossly lovesick kittens.” Victoria winks as a playful grin tugs at her lips.

“You should just be glad that I’m even letting you pick the music. I bet Andy isn't as accommodating as I am.”

“No he’s definitely not. If I as much as just look at his radio he gives me this stare and says ‘don't even think about it Vic’.” Victoria mimics Andy. “Why can't he just let his sister pick the music once in a while?!”

Robert laughs wholeheartedly at his sister’s impression of their brother. “Probably because he's got no taste in music.”

“True. He’s always listening to this boring farming station. It’s kinda odd really.”

“Tell me about it. What the...” Robert trails off with a frown.

The scorching sun all of a sudden seems to fade away and a grey mist spills out onto the road. It becomes bigger and more dense very fast and Robert quickly lifts his foot off the accelerator. They drive much slower along the road as Robert’s view ahead is greatly obscured by the fog. He doesn’t want to risk them hitting something or driving off the road. Adam would kill him if he doesn’t bring Vic home in one piece. 

“Where is the smoke coming from?” Victoria asks as she leans forward in her seat and stares mystified out of the windshield.

“Seems to be coming from the old barn.” Robert mumbles as the visibility clears up a bit.

“Oh God Rob look. It's on fire.” Victoria exclaims horrified as the barn comes into view with extensive roaring flames coming out of it. “Robert slow down.”

“Why?” Robert frowns.

“Because we should go find out what's happened.”

“Vic what good would that do? We’ll just be adding to the crowd of nosy bystanders.”

“Don't say that. What if someone we know is injured or something?” Victoria scolds, giving her brother a stern look.

“Yeah cos that's very likely.” Robert’s voice dripping with sarcasm as he inwardly rolls his eyes. His sister can be such a goody two shoes sometimes.

“You're such a grouch.” Victoria fires back.

“And you're a right mother Theresa.”

“Look there's Cain and Moira. What on earth are they doing?” Victoria frowns. Moira almost looks like she’s holding Cain back while yelling something at him. “Now pull over.” She instructs, pointing at a vacant area where Robert can park away from the fire.

“Fine.” Robert relents knowing Victoria won’t let it go. 

Victoria hurriedly gets out of the car and runs over to where Moira and Cain are standing arguing, Robert jogging behind her to keep up with his sister.

“What’s happened here? Is someone hurt?” Victoria immediately asks as they reach her in-laws.

“We don't know but we think Aaron is trapped in there.” Moira says all panicky.

At the mention of Aaron's name Robert suddenly becomes alert. “What do you mean Aaron’s in there? He can’t be!”

“Our Sam saw him go in there earlier and no one’s seen him since.” Cain elaborates while trying to keep calm but there’s an edge of worry and desperation in his voice.

Robert’s eyes widen in shock as he nervously rakes a hand through his perfectly styled blonde hair. “But...but I just spoke to him an hour ago. He said he was going to the cinema with Liv.” Robert says, arms flailing, as he tries to make sense of the situation.

“Liv is at the pub with Chas. We've just come from there.” Moira frantically says, looking all helpless as she glances up at Cain.

Moira’s words make all colour drain from Robert’s face and his eyes bulge widely as his mouth goes slack as the severity of the situation hits him full force. He feels like all wind has been knocked out of him and watches almost paralysed as the huge flames envelopes the barn. In an instant, everything around Robert blurs into a an unrecognisable mess of colours and voices as he’s brought back to being that scared 14 year old boy watching in horror as the barn is on fire - only this time with his mum, Sarah, trapped inside. Her strangled cries spilling outside as she frantically screamed for help and all Robert could do was watch helplessly as his father, Jack, stopped him from going near the barn and help his mum. Before it suddenly exploded and in a split second his mum was taken from him forever.

He’d never properly come to terms with losing his mum. He still blamed Andy for taking her away from him. The only person besides Vic that had truly cared for him growing up. The pain of losing her had been almost unbearable.

“Rob? Robert are you listening to me?” Victoria practically screams at him, shaking him out of his trance.

“I need to go in there.” The words leave Robert’s mouth before he's even had time to contemplate the potential consequence.

“You can’t.” Victoria exclaims shocked.

“I need to do something. I have to try and save Aaron. I can’t lose him like mum.” Robert says, feeling more distraught with each passing moment. There’s no way he can just leave Aaron to a similar fate like his mum.

“But the firemen will be here shortly and they know what they’re doing.” Victoria’s hands clutches tightly around Robert’s firm biceps, her nails digging roughly into his skin, trying desperately to stop her brother from going into the inferno that the barn is rapidly becoming.

“By then it might be too late. He could be dead already!” Robert cries flustered as he repeatedly keeps averting his gaze between the burning barn and Vic while he tries to ignore the stab of pain in his chest at the thought of Aaron lying dead inside the barn.

“Rob please! I can’t lose you. Not like mum. Please don’t!” Victoria sobs, tears brimming in her eyes and smudging her mascara.

“I couldn't save mum but I have to try and get Aaron out. If I lose him I might as well be dead too.”

“I’m begging you Robert...please don’t do this.”

Robert pulls Victoria into a tight embrace and press a kiss against her forehead. “I'm sorry but I have to do this. I love you Vic.” Robert murmurs against her temple and then quickly lets her go.

“ROBERT NO!” Victoria’s high-pitched screams echoes around them as she in vain tries to reach for Robert when all of a sudden Cain steps in front of her and holds her back. Robert runs as fast as he can in the direction of the barn before anyone has a chance to stop him. Victoria can hear sirens in the distance while she watches horrified as her brother runs toward the burning building. She’s already lost her mum to a fire she can’t lose her brother the same way. Victoria falls against Cain’s chest, gripping on tightly to his shirt as she weeps - praying to every God there is that she won’t lose both her brother and friend in one day.

“It'll be okay. He'll find Aaron and they'll both be okay.” Cain soothes as he tries comforting Victoria - part of him trying to convince her as much as himself. 

Robert feels the burning of the flames the closer he gets to the barn. The heat is unbearable. Robert raises an arm in front of his face to shield himself from the flames as he slips through an opening in the woodwork. As soon as he steps inside the ablazed barn, Robert feels like he’s being roasted on an open fire. The heat and humidity in the barn almost suffocating - burning his lungs. The sweat instantly pours from his body and the soot stings his eyes, making them watery.

“Aaron?” Robert calls out as he tentatively manoeuvers his way through the burning stacks of hay and fallen beams of wood. “AARON!” he screams frantically trying to be heard over the roaring flames.

The smoke is rapidly getting thicker and oppressive. It’s making it difficult for Robert to breath properly and his breathing becomes all wheezing. He does his best to block out the memory of his mum’s strangled cries as he precociously moves through the maze of flames in search of Aaron. He has to find Aaron. He can’t leave him to die just like his mum had. He just can’t. Robert isn’t about to go through losing someone he loves to a blazing fire again.

Robert hears the ominous creaking of the woodwork above him and knows he doesn’t have much time. He has to find Aaron before the whole barn collapses on top of both of them.

“AARON?” Robert calls again, causing him to cough badly as he inhales lungs full of thick smoke. 

Robert can feel the panic rising inside him. Where’s Aaron? What if he’s too late and he was already dead? The thought terrifies Robert right to the bone and spurs him on further. He’s not leaving the barn without Aaron.

Robert squints his eyes as he all of a sudden thinks he sees a dark lump on the ground. It’s hard to tell if it’s Aaron or just fallen debris from the density of the smoke. Robert hastily slips past an aflame broken beam and hurries over to where the lump is located. He feels his heart drop into his stomach when he gets closer and instantly recognises the hoodie Aaron had been wearing that morning as he’d kissed him goodbye before leaving to spend the day with Victoria.

“AARON!” Robert's anguised cry drowns out the surrounding noise of the flames for a split second as he runs to where Aaron is lying lifeless on the ground. He scrambles to the floor and crawls on his knees the last few inches as he begins to feel his body affected badly by the smoke and heat.

“Oh God NO! AARON!” Robert cries as he turns Aaron’s body onto his back so he can look at him. Aaron’s face is covered in soot and there’s blood seeping from a large cut on his forehead, which must stem from the large piece of fallen wood lying next to him, but otherwise he just looks to be asleep. “Please don’t be dead. You can’t leave me too. Not like this.” Robert pleads as tears run freely down his cheeks. He desperately tries shaking Aaron’s body, trying to get him to wake up but Aaron is like a rag doll in Robert’s arms. Non responsive.  
Robert coughs furiously as he shuffles on his knees and picks up Aaron’s head, resting it in his lap. “Baby can you hear me? Please wake up.” Robert sobs, his tears coming thick and fast as he strokes Aaron’s scruffy cheek. “Aaron...baby...wake up. You said you and I were forever...well forever isn't here yet so you can’t leave, you hear me! You just can’t!” Robert’s tears slides over his chin and drops down onto Aaron’s pale, soot covered face - creating a constellation of little ivory streaks across his dirty face.

A loud crack from above alerts Robert and snaps him out of his shocked state. Robert quickly spurs into action and knows he has to get them out of there now and get Aaron some help. As he gets to his feet, Robert is aware it will be hopeless to support Aaron over his shoulder and carry him out as he won’t be able to walk. The only other option is to drag him out of there. Robert quickly leans down and hooks his hands under Aaron’s armpits and starts dragging Aaron’s lifeless body out of the barn the same way he had come in. Robert chokes back another sob as images of that day at the scrapyard when he’d had to drag Aaron like this as well flashes before him. He managed to save Aaron back then and he’d be damned if he doesn’t save him now. Robert knows he can’t handle losing Aaron. It would be like losing part of himself.

Once Robert emerges outside, everything seems to suddenly happen in slow motion. Robert can see people instantly milling about and crowding around him as he collapses on the ground with Aaron in his arms - policemen, firemen and paramedics everywhere. Robert is wheezing and coughing loudly and he can’t get a word out as the paramedics hastily pull Aaron from his arms and carry him to the awaiting ambulance. All of a sudden Victoria is there, crying and hugging him so tight he can hardly breath and he can’t seem to understand a word she is saying - everything's a blur. Robert feels like all the energy has abandoned his body and he is left with a hollow shell.

Robert’s eyes never leaves Aaron’s body as the paramedics tend to him. “I have to be with him.” Robert keeps repeating, unaware of what he is actually saying. His main focus being on Aaron the whole time.

But Victoria hears and she quickly calls Cain over and gets him to help her half carry her brother over to the ambulance, which Aaron is being loaded into on a stretcher. Robert can hear Victoria say something to one of the paramedics but it’s no more than a distant noise as the sound doesn’t seem to be able to percolate through the fog of his muddled brain.

Soon Robert is bundled into the back of the ambulance along with Aaron - the paramedics working frantically over Aaron’s unconscious body - as another one forces an oxygen mask over Robert’s dirty face and checks him over for any injuries. Not once does Robert’s anxious stare leave Aaron on the ride to Hotten General.

****

Robert quietly sits by Aaron’s bedside as he waits for him to wake up. It has been hours since Aaron has been admitted to hospital and every minute of Aaron still unconscious has been excruciating for Robert. 

When they had arrived at Hotten General, Aaron had been wheeled off and Robert taken to another room to get checked out for any smoke inhalation injuries. Robert had yelled and sworn at the nurses, trying to fight them off, not caring about himself. His only concern was Aaron and his well being. But eventually he’d let a nurse pull him into a room and check him over as she kindly but sternly had pointed out that he’d be no use to Aaron if he was dead. And that had done the trick as Robert knew if anything happened to him because he’d tried saving Aaron, his boyfriend would only end up feeling guilty and Robert knew better than anyone how badly Aaron handled guilt. So he’d begrudgingly let the nurses and doctor examine him and once he’d got the all clear he’d been by Aaron’s bedside immediately.

But that was hours ago. Victoria, Chas and Liv had all been around to see how Aaron and him were doing and it had helped keep Robert somewhat sane. But Robert only relaxed to some extend once he’d been told Aaron was alive and his condition was stable. However, it didn’t stop Robert from worrying despite the doctor telling him Aaron would be fine and it was only a matter of time before he would regain consciousness. That was bloody easy for him to say it wasn't his boyfriend who could have died!

“Robert...Robert…” The sound of Aaron’s vague murmurs pulls Robert out of his semi-trance and he instantly scoots onto the edge of the chair and squeezes Aaron’s hand reassuringly.

“Baby it's okay. You’re in hospital. You’re safe now.” Robert chokes out, swallowing past the lump in his throat. Fresh tears prickle at the back of his eyes, this time in relief, at the sight of Aaron finally being awake.

“How did I get here?” Aaron asks hoarsely as he pulls off his oxygen mask and frightened blue eyes dart around the dimly lit hospital room.

“There was a fire at the barn and you got trapped inside. Do you remember?” Robert carefully clasps Aaron’s hand tightly in his larger ones.

“I think...I think I remember the smell of something burning and then the flames...and then nothing. Everything is a blank.” Aaron gets a faraway look in his eyes as he tries to recall the events at the barn.

“Don't you ever scare me like that again you hear me! I thought I was going to lose you and I couldn't handle that.” Robert fights back a sob, his eyes turning all glassy, as tears well up in his eyes. He doesn’t think he’s ever cried as much as he has done today. It really hits home how close he came to losing Aaron and how that left him feeling like he was dying as well. As if he needed to be reminded of how much he loves Aaron - the brunette lying in the hospital bed all frail and battered, but alive, is his everything. “Promise me you’ll never leave me.” Robert’s words are barely audible, his voice trembling slightly, but Aaron hears and the distraught look on Robert’s face is almost enough for Aaron to pull the needles of the IV drips out of his hands and draw Robert into a tight hug.

Instead Aaron slowly raises his weak hand to gently cup Robert’s cheek. “I promise.” His calloused hand tenderly caresses the dirty, yet somehow still soft freckled skin. Robert’s eyes drops closed as he leans into Aaron’s touch. A lone tear escapes Robert’s closed eyelids and slowly trickles down his soot covered face, creating another tear track to the many others already present on his dirty and sweaty face.

“I thought I’d lost you. I was terrified you were going to die on me like my mum did.” Robert crumbles as his eyelids flutters open and tears freely cascade down his face.

Aaron’s heart breaks and tears well up in his eyes at the haunted look in the depth of Robert’s blue orbs. “I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Aaron whispers softly, though he sounds more gruff than usual because of the smoke.

“But you could have. I wouldn’t know what to do without you. That’s why I went into the barn to get you out.” Robert’s voice cracks as he furiously tries to brush away his tears with the back of his hand. 

“You went in there to save me?” Aaron looks gobsmacked at Robert. He shouldn’t be surprised really because he knows from experience there isn’t anything that Robert isn’t willing to do for him. It still takes his breath away sometimes how much the blonde truly loves him. Last year, the depth of Robert’s feelings and what he would do for him would have scared Aaron a little until he finally learned to accept that he was worthy of Robert’s unconditional love.

“Yeah. I couldn’t just stand around and do nothing like when my mum died. Mind you I’ll probably get a right earful from Vic when I see her again for running into a burning building like that.” Robert gives a watery chuckle, knowing what his sister is like.

Aaron quietly laughs at the image of Vic telling her brother off. He’s been on the receiving end of one of Victoria’s lectures enough times to know what it’s like. Aaron’s laugh quickly turns into a coughing fit though and he starts wheezing and spluttering uncontrollably.

Robert practically jumps out of his seat and grabs the glass of water on the table next to Aaron’s hospital bed. “Baby have some water.”

“Thanks.” Aaron weakly smiles after taking a few sips of the offered water.

“What were you even doing at the barn in the first place?” Robert asks as he puts the glass back down and perches on the chair again.

“I went there to think.”

“Why? Has something happened?” Robert frowns, not able to keep the slight edge of worry out of his voice, as his eyes instinctively searches Aaron’s body for any signs of him hurting himself again.

“No but I’m hoping something might happen.”

Aaron’s intense expression is unreadable and Robert’s brow furrows further in confusion. “I’m not following.”

“I went to the barn to reminisce, I guess, of the times we spend there and what made me fall in love with you.” Aaron elaborates as a loving smiles slowly spreads on his face.

“Baby that still makes no sense.” A smile tugs at Robert’s lips as he presses a kiss to the back of Aaron’s hand, avoiding the IV drip. Robert slightly shakes his head - clearly Aaron is still a bit out of it after the fire, which is only understandable.

“I was trying to think of what to say to you when I proposed you muppet.” Aaron laughs fondly at his boyfriend’s lack of perception.

“You what?” Robert freezes, his eyes widening as they instantly meet Aaron’s piercing blue ones.

Aaron lightly squeezes Robert’s hand as he desperately blinks back his tears. “This isn’t how I imagined doing this. I’ve actually bought a ring and even had it all planned out. But if today has taught me anything it’s that life is precious and I want to spend every single day of mine with you by my side. So will you marry me Robert?” Aaron asks softly, biting his bottom lip nervously as he stares intently at Robert through slightly blurred vision.

After everything that has happened that day in takes a moment for the enormity of Aaron’s words to fully sink in but when they do Robert feels his heart soar and butterflies flutter in the pit of his stomach. He never knew it was possible to love another person as much as he loves Aaron. “Yes...I’ll marry you.” Robert grins widely. “Someone has to keep you from always getting yourself into trouble.”

“Nice one! Here I am asking you to be my husband and you just take the piss.” Aaron scoffs through his tears but the smile on his face leaves Robert in no doubt he’s joking.

Robert’s face suddenly grows more serious as his eyes locks with Aaron’s - the stare so intense Robert is practically boring right into Aaron’s soul and stripping him bare with just his eyes. “I love you Aaron.”

Aaron’s features soften as he smiles that warm, heartfelt smile he only ever reserves for Robert. “I love you too.”

Robert gets up from his seat and carefully leans in over the hospital bed as he smiles down at Aaron. "Husband...I like the sound of that." Robert grins before he pushes Aaron's oxygen mask down a bit and dips his head to brush his lips softly against Aaron's.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: [TrashMouthSugden](http://trashmouthsugden.tumblr.com)


End file.
